Having a rough time

Hello,
I have been having a bit of a rough time for the last few months and I am really struggling to cope with all the ups and downs.
I have been off work for 2 months now and it is looking likely that I will not be able to return to my profession. I have to look at it in the sense I have achieved what I wanted just maybe not for as long as I wanted! I have to try and change the way I look at things to more the glass is half full rather than my current way of half empty!!
I have had 2 admissions in a week so just as one bruise goes there is another to replace it!! I just want to find that magic drug which yes I am sure exsists!
I am a bit all or nothing recently, I want to compensate for not being at work so overdo it in the house, this also acts as a bit of distraction, stops me thinking! I feel guilty not being able to do things on a daily basis so when I can, I overdo it and then pay for it, I never learn!!!
I want people to understand what I am going through but it is hard, one day you can look fine then next minute your fighting for breath. Having an illness that is not visible is not easy, many a time I have been made to feel like a fraud!